Sunday, February 28, 2010

Such a crybaby!

There's a couple in my neighborhood whom I consider friends. They had a son, Kaison, the same day as we had Z. He was born with Dandy Walker Syndrome, and died when he was a couple months old. Maybe it was because we went through a pregnancy at the same time, and had our sons together, but I felt their loss keenly.

I was ecstatic when they had another son, Xander. It turned out that he had the same syndrome, and his prognosis wasn't great. I took pictures of Xander when he was a couple months old, and thought he was such a sweet baby.

On Wednesday, Xander went home to be with his brother.

It struck me as so unbelievably tragic and unfair that such a sweet, loving couple who desperately loved their babies had to endure not one, but two children dying.

I've been a bit weepy since hearing the news, just aching for them.

On Saturday, I went to the viewing. I tried really hard to be supportive and pulled together, but when I saw Tony, I couldn't help it and my eyes welled with tears. I'm hoping I didn't make too big of a fool of myself. I just hurt so badly for what they were going through that I couldn't help it.

I am going to blame my mom and grandma for this one. They both cry at the drop of a hat. A good commercial on tv will have both of them bawling. I thought I had escaped this curse, and then I had kids.

I swear, I had some permanent hormonal change when I got pregnant the first time. I caught the crybaby illness. I cry nearly as easily as they do now, much to my chagrin.

Now, I realize that nearly anyone with a heart would cry over Baby Xander. It really is sad. Well, bittersweet actually. I think it's wonderful that his parents got as much time as they did with them. But, I wish that it was Xander burying his parents after they lived a long and joyful life, watching him grow up, marry, and have children of his own.

I just wish that I could've not cried when going through the viewing line. I didn't want his parents to feel like they had to give any comfort.

Rest in peace, baby Xander. I hope that you and your brother watch over your mommy and daddy until they come home to you.

1 comment:

Kristen said...

Don't feel bad about crying. I cried reading this post.