Friday, January 9, 2009

Last night's drea,m

I had a very interesting (to me) dream. Yeah, I know dreams are boring, but hey, it's my blahhhhhg, so I can write what I want.

I dreamed my cousin Michael died. He was my very favorite cousin growing up, and I idolized him. From a very early age, I had decided if I ever had a son, I would name him Michael, after my beloved cousin. As often happens, we grew apart as we grew up. At this point, I only see him once a year or so. We saw each other at Christmas, and it was great to see him again.

Anyway, so last night, I dreamed he died. I went to the funeral, and it was the best funeral I'd ever been to. Instead of a casket at the front of the room, it was actually HIM sitting there. He was perfectly fine, and he was able to actually personally say good-bye to everyone. He wasn't able to tell anyone what death was like, or what he had seen/experienced since dying. He was only able to assure us he was perfectly fine, and that he'd see us again after we died. It was awesometo have real closure and be able to truly have a goodbye conversation.

Death can be such a hard thing. So many times, when someone dies, we weren't able to say the things we wanted to. If the death was unexpected, it's even worse when it comes to things unsaid. I think people would be able to joyfully remember loved ones and not be as full of grief if we were able to have a funeral like my dream funeral for my cousin. To know unequivocally that they really are ok, to be able to say goodbye, and have them hear and respond would be absolutely priceless. Unfortunately, we still have to take it on faith that our loved ones survive death and that we'll see them again.

The dream reminded me of just how crazy I was about my cousin. It's a little sad that we aren't very close any more. We just are in such different places in life that it would be tough to get too close again. I'm sure that my husband and I would be incredibly boring for Mike and his girlfriend to see socially. Oh well.

Love ya, Mikey!


Chardell said...

That sounds like an interesting concept. You're blog is always fun to read.

Chardell said...

Your...not You're. duh