When I was in high school, I had a boyfriend named J. It was a fairly intense relationship (what high school romance isn't?!), and when we broke up, it was extremely messy and unpleasant. There was no "let's be friends" here. During those turbulant times, I got to be pretty good friends with his dad and stepmom. They were both really great people. I would've liked to continue being friends with him, but I thought it wasn't wise. I also think out of loyalty to their son, they wouldn't have anyway. But, I have always wished all three well.
J's stepmom's obituary appeared in the paper this week, with her funeral being today. From the obit, I see that J did get married at some point (He said he wouldn't), which made me happy.
I would love to give condolences to the family, but although time softens everything, I think it would actually not be at all comforting for me to pop back into J's life, no matter how kind I was trying to be. I don't know, maybe I think much too much of myself. But, I have to admit there are certain times that I would not welcome a blast from my past popping back in to say hi.
So, I will say here that I am really sad to hear of stepmom's passing, and my deepest condolences go to the family. They will be in my prayers for comfort in this difficult time. Rest in Peace, R.