I was talking with K and M the other day. Somehow, the conversation turned to teenagers sneaking out. I made them both promise that they never would. M readily agreed, but I had to put a "no crossies count" clause in for K. I'll admit I was a little concerned at her reluctance to promise. I gave her the following scenario: Say that you have a boyfriend that I don't like, and tell you not to see. You think I'm crazy for not liking him, and decide to see him anyway. He suggests you sneak out to see him, so you leave the house at 11pm, after we go to sleep. Turns out he's a bad person, just like I said, and he kidnaps you. If I don't wake up til 7:30, he'll have a huge lead in running away away. How likely is it that I'll find you with that kind of lead?
She agreed that it would be a bad situation, and then promised. But here's the great part. She said, "But mom, why would I want to have a boyfriend you didn't like? If you didn't like him, and told me to break up, I would." I've have enough of the inner teenager left in me that I was cracking up at that. I assured her that she would most likely have friends that I didn't like, and I could almost guarantee that she would want to still be friends even though I didn't approve. I told her it was part of being a teenager.
I then said for her to imagine that I suddenly decided I didn't like H anymore. He is one of her very best friends (and I boy who I do truly adore!). If I told her she couldn't be friends with him anymore, would she stop talking to him, or just visit with him at school so I didn't know. She said that if I said that, I must have a good reason for it and she would do as I said because she trusted me.
I love it! Unfortunately, I'm enough of a realist to know that will not happen. Oh well.