Friday, April 25, 2008

Figured it out

I've long been convinced that my kids don't sleep. I think they lay in their beds til we fall asleep and then do.... something. None of them have ever been GREAT sleepers, but K and M were the worst.

This morning, I think I discovered what they're doing with all that time, besides hiding my stuff and making messes. I think they plot ways to drive me crazy. The worst part is that it's working. Here's how my morning went:

6:30am: dh's alarm goes off. I bury my head under the pillow, hoping to get some more sleep.
6:40: Z wakes up, calling me. I get him and bring him back to bed and nurse him. As I do, I hear S come running upstairs. She bursts into the room, so excited because we're going camping today. I nurse as she chatters about camping.
7:00am: Z proceeds to throw up. Again. I thought we were done with this?! We had been a vomit-free household for 24 hours until this. Being a good cub scout, I'd had a towel handy, so the mess was minimal. S, unperturbed, continues talking about roasting marshmallows for dinner.
7:03: K comes in and asks if I'll make french toast for breakfast. No.
7:05: Give S yogurt for breakfast

The next 30 minutes are a blur of kids talking to me, fits thrown by S, breakfasts getting made (Z ravenously eats a banana as though nothing is wrong), and the kids trying to make lunches.

7:45: M announces that he needs to do his homework. The homework he received a week ago. Usually this isn't a problem, as he can do it in about 10 minutes. But this week's activities are more time consuming: plant a seed, put an ice cube in a plastic cup, styrofoam cup, and can. Watch melt, which one lasted longest? Have a partner measure a kajillion different parts of your body and you write them down. I finally throw up my hands and announce he simply won't be able to finish his homework this morning, and in the future, he should plan better.

7:46: S announces she wants MORE breakfast, so I make her cereal.

8:00: As I'm getting food to put into the trailer for the camping trip (which may not happen due to Z's encore performance of "The Exorcist"), K announces that she has to do her out-loud reading. They are supposed to read 5 books a week from her teacher's program. Each book is about 5-8 minutes long, and they're supposed to read one a day. She loves to put them off to the last minute, and then read all morning friday. I throw my hands up, and tell her to start reading, but as of next friday, I will not let her read more than one book on friday morning.

In the meantime, today is backwards day at school, so both kids are dressing backwards, and K wants a sideways ponytail, ala 80s. I point out this is not backwards, but she doesn't care. both of the little kids poop their fresh diapers.

I get a phone call from a neighbor, wondering if I'd watch her two kids this afternoon. I politely decline.

8:35: Load all the kids into the car and take the big kids to school.

8:45: Load the toiletries into the trailer

8:50: fix some toast for myself for breakfast while holding Z, the amazing velcro baby. Come downstairs and put on "Finding Nemo" for S and Z to watch while I eat.

8:52: Fend off the suddenly starving S and Z, who have decided my toast looks delicious.

9:15: Rescue Z, who has managed to wedge himself between the chair and the wall

9:20: S decides she's rather watch Cinderella. NOW NOW NOW

I give up.

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