What a week!

This has been a crazy week. The big kids were out of school on Monday and Tuesday. Tuesday night, our cub scout pack had the big Pinewood Derby. The big kids both made cars and had a blast racing them. I was a little dissatisfied because we were using the stopwatch function on a watch to time the cars. When the races were being won and lost be hundredths of a second, that just didn't seem precise enough. To make matter worse, I was one of the people timing it, so I felt like the sloppiness was my fault, even though I wouldn't have done it that way had I been in charge. M won second place in his den. I have a sick feeling that I inadvertently cheated, making him win. He was one of the first cars to race, before we got into a groove. I just hope none of the parents are too unhappy with how things went, and that nobody feels like I did anything to slight their child on purpose.

Wednesday I was "treat mom" for M's junior jazz basketball game. I realized as I got there that I didn't have enough treats for all of the kids, so I had to run to the store and buy another box. Oops.

To also toss into the mix, I had a photo shoot for a friend's son. She cut K's and my hair, and in exchange, I'd take pictures of her son, and make a baptism invitation out of it. I also had to take Z's picture. I have pictures of all four of my kids at the age of 9 months in a washtub. They turned out pretty cute, but I'm annoyed because the sheet I used for the backdrop has a big wrinkle in it, and I can't photoshop it out to my satisfaction. I may attempt to take the pictures again today with a freshly ironed sheet. It's also girl scout cookie time, so I'm going door to door in the afternoons with K, trying to sell cookies. She has sold over a hundred now, so that's good.

Z has had a cold for a month now. He was almost better about 2 weeks ago, and then got bad again. I think he caught a new one. Ugh! He's also learned to pull himself up to standing, which in general is fun, but not so fun because at night, if he wakes up, he immediately pulls himself up to standing and starts screaming and crying for mama. He insists on sleeping with us. Except the last couple nights, he doesn't actually sleep. He lays perpendicular to husband and I and kicks. All night.

I desperately love my kids. They are truly the biggest joy in my life. But, I have to admit I think back to the spring of 2004. Both of the big kids were potty trained. M was on the cusp of starting preschool. I am three semesters away from graduating college. I was getting course catalogues and considering finishing school. If I'd gone that route instead of having two more kids, I would be about 25 lbs lighter, a college graduate, and probably working a great job by now. And our family's income would be significantly higher. I can't deny that some days, like today when I'm knee deep in baby poop and snot, the other path looks attractive.