Gah! Have you ever had something mildly embarrassing happen, and you have a stupidly emotional reaction? Then THAT emotional reaction is way, way, way more embarrassing than the original awkward moment? Yeah, me neither.
At least, I wish that were true.
Tonight I decided to go to my ward's enrichment night. This is something of an oddity for me, given my inactive status in my church. So, I hadn't been to a social activity like this in a good long time. Because people don't generally stop attending my church, I am a bit of an oddity. So, going in, I was already feeling a bit awkward and self conscious.
I found a place to sit, and was talking to everyone. Everyone was being extra nice, probably hoping to fellowship me back to church. Plus, I am incredibly witty and entertaining to be around (ha!).
We were served dinner, so I set my purse under the table, and got in the food line. When I got back to "my" seat, it had been taken by a latecomer. Of course, this person had no clue the seat had been claimed. I didn't want to make a big deal, so I tried to find another seat. The other seats I asked about were taken, but they were still in the food line. By the 8th or so seat I asked about, I was beginning to feel really self conscious and awkward.
For some idiotic reason, this made me cry. I haven't cried in quite a long time, so I probably had bottled up emotion. I know I wasn't upset about the seat situation. It was an honest mistake.
I didn't want to stand there like an idiot, crying for no reason, so I left the room.
Well, this is not how a relief society activity is supposed to go, particularly when you have an inactive member show up, and I could tell people had noticed, and felt bad. I had a couple of ladies find me and try to talk me into coming back, but I was feeling like a serious idiot at that point.
Of course, this was the ONE TIME I actually brought my purse inside, so I'm good and trapped at the activity. I finally talked one of the ladies into sneaking in and grabbing my purse, and I snuck out and left.
I hate it when that happens.