Almost three months ago, I decided to get serious about weight loss. My sister's wedding cruise is in August, and I wanted to be skinny and fit for it. I started watching my calories, fat, and carbs. I started working out 5-6 days a week. After a month with almost no results, I even gave up my beloved Mountain Dew. I figure the calorie reduction from that alone would make me lose a pound every 10 days. However, I have lost a total of TWO pounds since starting all this. In moments of self preservation, J has told me I look skinnier, and that he does think I'm losing.
At this point, the only thing I can imagine is holding me back is some hormonal thing to keep weight on. I am still breastfeeding Z, and I've always had trouble losing the last bit of weight while I'm nursing. I'm wondering if my metabolism is out of whack from the nursing so that I have those oh-so-important fat stores in place.
Yesterday I decided to wean him. He's only nursing 2-3 times a day (wakeup time, going down for nap, and bedtime), and doesn't seem to be that attached to any session except for wakeup. I feel quite selfish in a way, since he does enjoy it, and I do think it makes a difference and is good for him. On the other hand, he's been nursed longer than probably 95% of the American population, so he had a real good run.
It's also incredibly bittersweet because with any luck at all, this will be the last baby I ever nurse. I really thought that because of this, I would be really hesitant to wean, and that I'd nurse him longer than any of my other kids. As it is, he will have been nursed the shortest amount of time, with the exception of K.
I am ready to get my body back. In the last 10 years, I have been pregnant for almost 39 months. I have breastfed for almost 5 of those years.
This morning was the first morning he didn't get to nurse when he woke up. Z was initially furious, but J made him a sippy cup of milk that he drank while cuddling with me, and he immediately calmed down. So, I think he'll wean pretty easily. Truth be told, if he has any difficulty at all, I will fold like wet cardboard.
But, if all goes well, I'll wait for my breasts to deflate into something pathetic, and then go buy some cute Victoria's Secret bras to hoist them back up again. I haven't worn a cute bra since 2004 sometime, so the prospect does sound kind of fun.